Handling Siblings’ Constant Arguing

Siblings have fought ever since Cain and Abel started that first fight.

My family wasn’t much better. I don’t recall reading anywhere that my ancestors were known for their peaceable ways.

Siblings Arguing

In fact, my sister and I argued the entire time we were growing up. It was miserable for all of us.

Why Do Siblings Argue So Much?

Why do kids do that? Vying for attention? Jealousy? Insecurity? Whatever the reason, parents have a few options on how to handle these situations.

Hands Off

Don’t get involved and let them work it out between themselves. This is the solution for most of the day-to-day arguments that crop up and blow over rather quickly.

Ask Siblings The Level of Importance

For longer arguments that keep escalating, you may want to intervene briefly to see if it can be brought to a swift end. I asked my kids if whatever they were arguing about would make a difference in 5 days. However, if the answer was no, I told them to go do something else away from each other and save their energy for another day.

Mediate with Siblings

For those situations that won’t stop and border on physical fights, you do need to intervene. In fact, it may become necessary for you to be the mediator, allowing each person to calmly state their case. Just the fact that their emotions aren’t escalated in this process may help them work out a solution with your assistance.

The Ultimate Sibling Leveler

I didn’t do this final one but only because it didn’t occur to me. If they positively won’t stop the name calling and arguing, this might work. Purchase an inexpensive white tee shirt as large as they come. Enlarge the neck opening. Write on it “This is our get along shirt.” Both parties put the same shirt on (one’s right arm is out through the sleeve and one’s left arm is).  After they wear that around the house, the anger at each other drains out of them because they want out of that shirt more than they want to argue. As I say, I never did it, but other families say it works pretty well.

Anyone have other suggestions we could all use for dueling siblings? Send us your suggestions by CLICKING HERE.



Certified Parent Coach

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