Has Fear Taken Control?

Fear – somethings my daughter Lily does can cause that and challenge my wisdom as a parent and my skills to become the solution.

Lily: Remember the shiny silver jingle bell you let me hold?

Me: Yes. Are you done with it? May I have it to put it away?

Lily: Probably not.

Me: Why not?

Lily: I wondered what it would sound like if I put it in my mouth. And jumped around.

Me: Okay. How did it sound … and where is it?

Lily: That’s the funny thing. It didn’t make much noise. Then it was gone.

Me: Gone?

Child: I swallowed it. I don’t hear it when I jump though. Even with my mouth open.

(The doctor said it would take a couple days, but to watch for it and it will show up.)

I tried to think of something profound to say at the end of this post, but nothing amazing came. One thing I do know is that as a parent, we can expect to experience all the things that every parent experiences.

Some of those things can make us freeze up with fear.

Who in your family is the the Chief Problem Solver? In single parent homes, of course, it is the sole parent. Always the sole parent. How about in dual parent homes? Is it Mom or Dad? Eventually, someone steps up as the Chief Problem Solver.

Having been both a long-time member of a two-parent home as we raised our kids and then as a single parent afterward to 14 more kids, I find that the more I tackle the tough stuff, the better I get at it.

Also, as I do difficult stuff, it becomes easier.

For instance, do I just stand and stare at the crack in the patio concrete, or do I make a plan to learn how to fix it?  Same thing with the leaky toilet. And the broken chair.

Fortunately, a few of us single moms have created an imaginary tribe to encourage each other when difficulties face us. I can be frozen with fear from the bell-swallowing incident or I can take it on.  What would the tribe do? We would encourage each other as we face the hard stuff and become Leaders in that unofficial tribe called Awesome Problem Solving Single Moms! As a bonus, I have discovered that it’s amazing what one can learn from You Tube and by searching Google!

So on our single mom’s Face Book page, I tie these Lily stories to a Bible verse.  This one put me at a loss. There aren’t too many Bible verses that deal with this situation.

I do know that unforeseen circumstances like this can cause anxiety and even fear.

We are told FEAR NOT many times in the Bible.

That means that on any given day when fear raises its ugly head, either from a swallowed bell, a financial crisis, a traumatic medical diagnosis, or a job loss, we are to FEAR NOT. I have been through all of those within the past couple years. It is comforting to know that all those circumstances, out of my control, are in HIS control. He is taking care of you and me.  In Isaiah 43:1 God reminds us: Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.

That alone will do wonders to drive away fear. Here is another:

Would you like to join our weekly conversation as we support each other?  We have one which is for single moms and one for moms in two-parent families. The only reason there are two is that the support is different for each. Check out our Inner Circle and let us know that you would like to fill one of the few remaining slots in the conversations.  I’d love to get to know you better! Click here.


We hope you are enjoying the Lily stories. For more Lily stories, check out our blogs on our home page HERE.






Certified Parent Coach

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